I didn´t have a traditional upbringing and from a very young age, I learned to choose my friends wisely and lean on them as you would on family. Friends truly are the family you choose. Simply put, Framily.
However I can be too nice for my own good and so over the last year, I realized that I was friends with people who were actually not nice at all and just used me and guilt-shamed me when I couldn´t meet their expectations and never cared enough to ask about me and my needs. That´s not friendship. That´s toxic bullsh*t.
And just like that those people faded off when I finally decided to stand up for myself and while that´s sad, I honestly didn´t miss them one bit. The magic that happened in the aftermath is, that I could clearly see who really was a good – even great – friend the entire time and I just didn´t give them credit for it. It´s so much easier to dwell on the negative and second guess yourself than acknowledging the greatness that stands in front of you!
Friendship is not a pageant though, it´s not about who will call you the most, splurges you with the most lavish gifts or who you´re able to meet over coffee more often. Frankly, the people I call my best friends – my framily today – are bound to a different lifestyle with kids and mom-duties and some aren´t even located in the same city as me. I often joke I like to host a huge feast and let everyone fly in – from Chicago, New York, LA, Vancouver, Toronto, London, Rome, Berlin, Frankfurt, Munich, Rome, Paris, Brussels, Melbourne, Durban and Mexico to just name a few – and who knows, maybe one day I will.
For now, and since today is GALENTINE´s DAY, I just want to say THANK YOU for being my friend ladies and gent (yes, singular), for putting up with me and always having my back!
And if you ask yourself how you could be a better friend – I do constantly – just know, that by genuinely wanting to dedicate your time to someone in whichever way and being honest and loving towards them is the best foundation of a strong friendship that there can be. Everything else takes time to blossom. And if you don´t feel like that towards a person you once called a friend or you even feel sick before meeting them or calling them, better think twice why and put yourself and your feelings first. I learned my lesson the hard way, so you hopefully don´t have to :)
Happy Galentine´s Day to my lovelies!